Mr. Fix-It

I consider myself a pretty big feminist. I think women should be treated equal to men in every way. I think much of our society's issues stem from the perpetuated idea that men are the dominant gender and that women are nothing more than objects. I despise the idea pounded into little girl's heads that they are fragile little flowers who must be rescued by a prince because they are incapable of saving themselves. I believe rape culture and slut shaming is a massive example of blaming the victim and making male abusers feel justified in continuing to hurt women. I don't like that so many girls are raised to believe that their only goals in life should be wife and mother, who are in some cases openly discouraged from going to college and having fulfilling careers. It's frustrating to me that a "feminist movement" is still taking place, that our society hasn't overcome these basic issues yet.

Now that I've firmly stated my position, allow me to completely contradict myself in one little instance.

I love, love, LOVE when my husband takes care of me and protects me. I don't think it's so much a masculine/feminine thing as it is that I just like feeling safe and provided for. I especially love when he's able to do things for me that I am incapable of doing for myself.

For example, last night we were in the kitchen cleaning before bed and I was doing a load of dishes. As we were talking I noticed my feet were getting wet, and when I looked down I saw water GUSHING out from the cupboard under the sink. I quickly turned the water off and hubby grabbed a bunch of towels to start soaking up the mess. I opened the cupboard to survey the damage and one of the pipes under the sink had come completely unattached from the section of pipe above it. Upon further inspection we realized that the pipe hadn't ever been properly attached - that instead of being threaded or glued to the adjoining pipe, it was just sort of pushed into place. It was only a matter of time before the two pipes disconnected from each other.

Now if I had been living alone, I would have stared at that broken pipe for about ten straight minutes, probably cried a little, and then waited until the next day to either call a plumber or ask a friend for help. Never in my wildest dreams would I have even ATTEMPTED to fix it myself. Not because I'm a "damsel in distress," but because I just know absolutely nothing about plumbing and I wouldn't have any idea where to start on a project like that.

My hubster, on the other hand, rolled up his sleeves, broke out the measuring tape to measure god-knows-what, and headed off to the hardware store. I laid down on the sofa and surfed Facebook whilst waiting for him to get home, like a super useful-but-clueless person would do, and I ended up drifting off to sleep. I awoke an hour later to hubby telling me it was time to go get in bed. I asked him if he was able to find the piece he needed, and he responded with a super sexy grin and a simple "It's all fixed." I don't think I've ever been more in love with my husband than I was right then, and in that small moment he really was my proverbial "knight in shining armor."

Examining the damage.

Can a self-proclaimed feminist be okay with being rescued by her man every once in a while? Of course! Because this isn't about a gender issue, it's about a marriage issue. A relationship issue. A companion issue. A big perk of being in a committed, long-term relationship with another person is that you get to be part of a team, a super awesome dynamic duo where each person brings something to the table. Both people have individual skills, experience, and perspective that contribute to the relationship as a whole. I'm good at managing money, organizing, and cooking. So that's what I bring to our marriage. My husband is good at fixing mechanical problems, explaining complicated concepts to our boys, and working hard to earn money for our family. That's what he brings to our team. He appreciates the things I do for us, and I appreciate what he does. It works. It jives. And it would be the same situation if both of us were female, or both of us were male. Gender is irrelevant.

I'm so insanely, overwhelmingly grateful that I have a good guy who helps make our marriage the amazing partnership it is. And I'm equally grateful for indoor plumbing. That's super nice too.